"You can use a box of Twinkies to cure your hunger, but it will never address your body's need for the nutrition which your hunger pains are signaling you need to meet."
We are a civilization that has begun to take our "questions" to everything and everyone under the sun to answer, without even considering whether or not they can do so. Our need to feel control in our life has us forever tethered to technology that complicates as much as it simplifies. We watch the news to stay informed in order to alleviate the anxiety which it causes within us. Our inability to restrain our basest passions has led us to cultivate a life which makes it difficult to restrain our basest passions. We enjoy depressants to unwind and wonder why life becomes gray and lifeless, once we develop dependency. We feel out of control of our debt, and spend money in order to feel in control. We are quite the paradox.
God understood this paradox all too well when he affirmed in Proverbs that "there is a way that seems right to man, but in the end it leads to death." We continually choose the quick fix for our acute pain, but never address the chronic problem of our lack of faith and trust in His wisdom and timing, only for the acute pain to re-emerge with greater ferocity than originally. We compound miseries, attempting to retreat, rather than engage with the help of the Creator. Inevitably, we learn our lesson, repent, and go right back to doing the same thing again, as a "dog which revisits his vomit."
You see, self-medicating is what happens when you refuse to go to the Great Physician to provide the cure. As Paul so eloquently put it, "who will save me from this wretched body of death? Thanks be to God for Jesus Christ!" He knew his problem, and he knew the solution. He didn't say that he might read a good self-help book first, or hang out at the bar to banter the philosophy of making bad life choices. He went to God, immediately. He knew that he could not save himself, therefore he did not choose self-medicating.
Is God your "rock and refuge?" Is He your "mighty tower" in whom you "hide?" Have you trusted that He alone can address the anxiety and fear you feel in your existence, in your marriage? And when you have laid these cares at His feet, and asked for wisdom and attentiveness, did you immediate take it back up and place it in your backpack, unwilling to trust Him? Did you delay, seeking to reduce the symptoms through self-medicating behavior, never to fully confront the root problem by "presenting your requests to God, with thanksgiving, [in order to obtain] a peace which passes all understanding?"
I encourage you to wait no longer and seek no other solace for the issues that you are addressing in your marriage. Please take your concerns to the Creator and allow him to both redeem and restore, it is His specialty. He has peace for your anxiety, courage for your fear, faith for your doubt, love for your anger, and hope for your sorrow. He is ready, willing and able to begin to make those exchanges, lasting exchanges that self-medicating cannot promise not deliver.